All in One Place: Limericks of August

They gathered from far for Aliko

Days after the rip from Atiku

To honour the man

Their oil masterplan

No plans of their own, brains like Tico

 

Le Prof has finally spent

On class, and not just on rent

From Madrid a thrill

They gave us Özil

To thrive, from whence Gareth went.

 

Did you see the fantasy sale

That’s making all football heads wail

The priciest man

In Galactico land

Is Gareth (not Christian) Bale

 

He’s fully recovered they say

In wholly opprobrious way

But if he returned

To the cockpit he burned

I bet none of those guys would stay

 

There once was a team warchest

S’posed to make squad the best

But something is wrong

For all summer long

The cheque-book’s been under arrest

 

The House has declared him unfit

His sackings not likely legit

The vultures unyielding

His signature wielding

The absurdity makes one spit.

 

Danbaba’s case is a weird one

His Deputy must be a feared one

For stupidest prank

His handlers we thank

As Suntai’s becoming a jeered one

 

ASUU went on strike, now been struck

In Delta, Kidnappers amok

One score Dons abducted

A ransom expected

Kidnappers are in for a shock.

 

Once Martin LK had a dream

That coffee’d be equal to cream

A half century past

Now free, free at last

The coffee and cream are a team.

 

There once was a toll concession

Made Lekki an exception

Now down has been struck

Is Gidi in luck

Or the buyout’ll buy out an election?

 

Assad is the bossman in Syria

Now ravaged by war & hysteria

Provoking the West

To clean up the mess

But ‘Raq,’Ghanistan still infernia

 

There once was a coach named Wenger

Been on an 8yr-long bender

Determined that he

Miraculously

Would win without being a spender

 

Mikey & Catherine have split

It doesn’t surprise me one bit

When he said his patch

Was caused be her snatch

I knew before long she would quit

 

The governor that fell from the sky

Expected by many to die

Is back on his feet

Incredible feat

But ready to lead? Pls don’t lie.

 

Suntai though now mute is still writing

Sack letters (less bark and more biting)

But deep down I expect

The thought or prospect

Of being flown by him’s not inviting

 

Like Yardy,Danbaba is conscious

But to ask him to speak is presumptuous

Political dance

In macabre trance

And nobody finds it obnoxious

 

In the creeks once lived a warlord

By amnesty to society restored

From arms, bayonette

To owning a jet(!)

Late Yardy we must all applaud

 

There broke a holy scandal

“That preacher is a vandal”

Salacious surcharge

For Grace-ous discharge

Brethren, let’s light a candle.

 

The salacious saga’s crescendo

The Grace-Powerups like Nintendo

To levels unknown

My mind has been blown

Wow, see pastoral innuendo

 

There once was a Gyptian Pharaoh

Ruled, feared like Emperor Nero

Imprisond’pon Spring

That Arabs did bring

Released, cos Gypt’s at ground zero

 

The start to the season was patchy

But ‪#Wenger is wise, like Apache

Redeem us, he must

Or ‪#InArseneWeRust

So Gunners, defeat Fernebache!

 

Old Rob of new Rhodesia

Black King of maladmesia

Has done it again

Now in 7th reign

All cheer? It must be amnesia.

 

The proud red men of London

Are faced with a conundrum –

To flourish or dry

To spend or to die

In glare of White Hart bunkum

 

Here’s more presidential porn

From the’appendage heaped with scorn

Our oxes are gored

Tim’s Vice-Man ignored

Cos with her they didn’t mourn

 

His article, overly retweeted

Salacious parts now deleted

No Hector of Troy

The sad little boy’s

Apology futile, defeated.

 

The author of tribal trilogy

Adduced “non-tribal” biology

The lesson is learnt

His fingers are burnt

And hence the quick apology.

 

There once was a “ceasefire”

By men who were pariah

It’s puzzling how

They fooled that old cow

As death-count keeps on getting higher.

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3 thoughts on “All in One Place: Limericks of August

  1. Pingback: All in One Place: Limericks of August | Indians in Pakistan - An Exciting Novel

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